Pirates of the Carribean 3
Arrrrrgggghhh ye ready for a terrible movie?
I expected a straightforward battle between pirates and the Dutch East India company. Instead, Pirates 3 crammed enough plots for three movies into one incoherent mass of awkward scenes, poor dialogue, and boredom. Yes, boredom. Pirates’ mediocrity practically begged me to leave after twenty minutes. But I decided to give the movie a chance, hoping it would get better. Of course, it only got worse.
The charm of the “Pirate Code,” which worked so well in the first film, was beaten to death before this film even shoved off. Just when you thought that all the side stories and background had been explained, the writers added more. (sigh) Everything was arbitrary. While in the first Pirates there was a legit reason for undead pirates, this just continued to add fantasy hogwash (Calypso, More Davy Jones, the Realm of the Undead, etc) upon an already shaky plot. And the secondary characters received entirely too much attention — if only they’d shoved the lady witch doctor in a barrel of gun powder and lit the fuse. Come to think of it, you can toss Keira Knightly in the same barrell. (I finally realize why the coach preferred Jess to Jules in Bend it Like Beckham).
I left the movie nearly an hour before it ended. I’ve never left a movie theater early, until now. Shame on Regal for refusing to refund me even though I skipped the entire ending. They should be begging forgiveness after showing that awful movie.
I don’t have a ship, but I got robbed by Pirates.
July 10th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
…being old has its advantages and its disadvantages.
#1, it only took me a year and a half to make an avatar fer m’comments and such.
#2 I think the trick was to watch both the other movies in a row, then go to the theatre. Although, the ending did put me off a bit….it kind’a looks like theyt might actually make a fourth, but, too bad, because lucas taught me the last lesson I’ll ever need for that bit of business.
The last Star wars did not meet expectations, and even worse, because of the time in between movies, it was a complete let down.
Kind of like the new BOND movie. I’ll tell ya what, the first bit, what with the chase and all, THAT WAS GREAT!!!
but the rest of the movie actually had me snoring so loud in the theater that they came and woke me up….
July 11th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
The only movie I have ever walked out on was Minority Report. Was a pile steaming pile of pants.
July 16th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Hey Chris,
This movie was just what I expected it to be for a sequel: a bunch of crap. This whole summer it has been nothing but let-downs. Spiderman 3 didn’t make it, neither did Shrek the 3. And lets not even get into Ocean’s 13. That was just a big pile of poo. So why would pirates be any different? I guess the trick to this is just to not consider the hype and think that the movie will blow from the start. That way, the expectation is less and the outcome can be a little bit more positive. Ah well…in conclusion, I thought the movie blew chunks too..
-Erika from classy San Diego =)
July 18th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Yo Chris! im a big fan! ALL THE WAY FROM NORWAY.. Im a pro soccer player and have alot of spare time… So some few days ago i downloaded BATG2 the full season! and I gotta say you’re one hell of a guy! u rock man! But you gotta help me out.. How old is Sarah Coleman? Do u know?
July 19th, 2007 at 12:01 am
I don’t really know. I think she’s like 26 or 27.
July 19th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Okei mayne! But do u know the address to her myspace? or facebook or anything?
July 19th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
I don’t actually. I haven’t talked to her in a while.
August 3rd, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Dang….and can you believe that this very afternoon I’m gonna go to see bourne ultimatum….a part three movie….and I have as much prejudice about things I like as the next guy, but, honesty always wins out when it comes to movie rerviews…..so, after I see it, I’ll be back.
August 3rd, 2007 at 2:52 pm
…..er….hopefully not to complain about throwing m’money away!
August 3rd, 2007 at 10:46 pm
holy cow….
if you saw the first seven minutes of the bond movie, the chase…..
Multiply THAT times 118 MINUTES!!!!
DAMN! THAT WAS THE BEST OF THE THREE AND IF THEY MAKE ANOTHER ONE (as long as lucas doesn’t direct it) I’LL BE THERE WITH BELLS ON!!!!